The Iron Conspiracy
by ProfessorSnapeScream
Summary: Two unlikely anti-heros team up to figure out why this woman is following them everywhere.


The rain beat up the hood of the rented Volkswagen as Virginia drove. It seemed as if God, or whoever planned the weather, had something terribly against her boss, half-conscious in the passenger seat.

"Second time in one week I've had to whisk him away from a party." she ranted silently.

Somehow, her boss must have known that she was thinking about him, because without any warning, he stretched in the cramped space and yawned heartily, startling Virginia in the driver's seat to the right of him.

"Oops, sorry..." he mumbled, shaking his head to wake himself up. His hair was a mess, he hadn't bothered to bring a razor to England with him, but at least he showered, and actually smelled very nice, like the cologne her dad would wear, and oh-what-was-she-thinking? If you looked at him _very_ closely, he resembled Robert Downey Jr., but still in rehab or wherever he went for all those years.

"No problem, sir." she said hurriedly. If he _was_ able to read minds, then she would be in a world of hurt. "Looks like we have to fill up for gas anyways. You were always one for perfect timing. Look for a gas station, will you?" The two associates sat in silence for a few moments, rushing through the English countryside, searching for a place to stop.

"All I see are these damn petrol stations. What do the cars here run on, margaritas?" Virginia just rolled her eyes. It was one thing for her boss to be seriously drunk, and sincerely funny, but it was another for him to try to be funny.

Although she did crack up a bit.

By now, the rain had ceased, and the sun had set. They were nearing a small village, where they could see small children in costumes being taken from door to door. Virginia almost forgot about Halloween.

"Look at this dude! He practically made a kid crap his pants with his costume! Who does he think he is!" shouted her boss. As the car stalled for a second, Virginia's boss watched the man storm into one of the houses. A few moments later, a bright green light shone out for a second, then another. Then the house just seemingly disappeared. Nobody around seemed to notice, though.

They pulled into a little gas station, next to a pub. As Virginia filled up the car's tank, her stomach rumbled.

"I heard that." said her boss; grinning. "How about we get some dinner. My treat." Virginia couldn't say no. There was something about his eyes that made you say yes to everything he said. And if that couldn't work, he always had the money and intelligence to know how to make you or pay you to.

As they walked into the shady old pub, they heard the bartender grumbling.

"James _ never _misses his Saturday night drink! Just because of some bloody holiday doesn't mean he can just _skip_! His boy is probably too young to go trick or treating anyways!"

Virginia and her boss exchanged glances and took a seat at the table that was covered in the least amount of greasy film. As they waited for a waitress, Virginia took in her surroundings. Almost every table was empty except for one, which had about a dozen young men and women toasting chattering. They looked extremely worried, but relieved at the same time. As the waitress brought them drinks, they all toasted something. The weird thing was, they were all dressed in colorful robes. Virginia didn't think much of this, considering it was Halloween, but most people she knew were sensible enough not to go trick or treating after the age of eight or so.

A commercial interrupted the news show on BBC. It featured a young man talking about a science company, then at the end, the logo of the company, _Stark Industries_. The people who were watching the T.V. turned around in their seats, and started staring at Virginia's boss. Then they started shouting at him.

_Tony! It's Tony Stark, in the flesh! The famous inventor!_

Virginia Potts, or as she preferred to be called, Pepper, knew this was bound to happen in a town as sleepy as this, where the most exciting thing that happened was if your cat swallowed a sock.

Or a billionaire inventor came to town.

Tony and Pepper ran out of the building before they got a chance to order. When Pepper turned around, she saw the young woman with the doe shaped eyes in the robes come running after Tony. She caught up to him, and clung onto his leg.

"I love you, Max, I'll never let go!" she screamed. Not wanting to hit a girl, he pleaded to Pepper for help. She knocked the fan out with her heel, and watched as Tony unlocked the briefcase he had with him at all times. With seamless precision, a metal suit accordioned out of the case, and enclosed Tony in a suit made of iron. Aside from cute little puppies, the Iron Man suit was the thing Pepper loved to stare at the most. It was shiny, and expensive looking, and-  
Tony had scooped her up quickly, as people had started to rush out of the restaurant, and he couldn't be seen as Iron Man, and jetted off in the direction they came. They went back to the village, having no other idea of where to go. Tony was sure that nobody had followed them that quickly, so he changed out of the suit, straightened out his tie, and continued walking down the street with Pepper.

When they got to a decrepit, abandoned house, they saw a dark figure on his knees, sobbing before it.

"Get a life, you bum!" hollered Tony. _Facepalm_, thought Pepper.

As Tony sneezed, he looked down at himself, and found his chest to be stained with slashes of blood.

"Oh, darn." he said weakly, then collapsed into a heap on the sidewalk. Pepper had never seen her boss so vulnerable. So injured. She took out her phone, and called 911. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ thought Pepper. You don't call 911 in Britain.

As she was frantically making an attempt to get help, the dark figure took three steps, and vanished into thin air.

Moments later, Professor Severus Snape had returned to Hogsmeade. He was the Hog's Head.

"Rough day, Severus?" inquired the bartender. His blue eyes twinkled, remembering Severus and his friend coming to the Hog's Head to make up potions and ridicule a boy they both hadn't been fond of.

"Yes, considering now that I have to tell your brother that LILY IS DEAD!" cried Snape hysterically. Aberforth handed him the dirty rag that he had been cleaning goblets with to wipe his face.

"There there, at least she was with James when she-"

"That's the worst part of it all!" howled the professor. "You know how much I hated him!"

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BARGED IN THAT DAY! MAYBE THEN SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE!" bellowed Aberforth. He had an uncanny knack for knowing things he shouldn't.

The two men sat in silence. Finally, Severus got up, and left for the castle. After ten minutes of dealing with tall grasses scraping up his legs, he opened the door, and was welcomed by thousands of decorations. He stomped furiously down to the Great Hall, then swung the doors open. How he would tell Dumbledore about the deaths of the woman he loved, and the man he hated, he didn't know. But he knew it would start like this:

"The Dark Lord has been vanquished, but at a terrible cost..."

**Thanks for reading! This chapter is dedicated to my mom, an Iron Man fan.**

**Tony and Pepper are based off of the movie versions of themselves, since I've never read the comics. But Snape is totally canon with the books.**


End file.
